There were many years that my state of being went up and down. I would be stuck, then unstuck, then stuck and unstuck again. It was a rollercoaster and it was exhausting and frustrating to repeat the same emotional patterns over and over again. Over time, I realized that as I worked through my feelings and began to have a voice in my life, that my mood lifted naturally and it became more stable over time. For me, it was through talking with a therapist at different times in my life–when I felt most vulnerable and unstable–that helped me to release “stuff.” Everyone has “stuff” you know. I have it and you have it and so does the most seemingly put-together person you can think of. So, through talking, my awareness of who I was and how I got to be this person became more acute. As I gained more self-knowledge, I was able to say, “Oh, that doesn’t work for me and I choose to let it go” or, “I am willing to forgive that person for the hurt they caused me.” I also would write down my thoughts over the years and this helped as well. Anything you can do to get out your thoughts and feelings about things is a healthy way to move in the direction of being a happier person. It just happens to you when you put in a little effort.
I’ve often said to my counselees, try doing one thing different from this day forward. When you do the same things over and over again, guess what? You get the same results each time. When you change just one thing, it can change you and your life for the better. Once you’ve incorporated a change (of habit perhaps?) that brings you, hopefully, a better result in your life, choose a new thing to change and see what happens then. This is your life and you get to make way more choices than you can imagine. You might feel that you have no say in your life because, maybe, you’re under 18 and your parents or guardians are in charge and have their rules that they expect you to live by. But even so, you always have options. You can live by the rules to earn your parents’/guardians’ trust and see where that takes you . . . often restrictions are lifted and you get to experience a little more independence. You can choose to have a negative or sassy attitude about the things about your life you don’t like or you can look at them differently. Take depression for example. You can say to yourself or to the world that, “I’m depressed and there’s nothing that can fix me.” Or, you can say, “I accept that I am stuck in my emotions right now. This is not me. It’s just the circumstance I find myself in. I’m going to tell someone I trust how I’m feeling and I’m going to ask for help. I know that this is only a temporary event in my life and that life will be good again. It may not feel like things could be different but my intellect knows that they absolutely can and will.” As Dr. Wayne Dyer often said, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” It’s true!
Today’s calendar quote from Dr. Christiane Northrup:
“Know that depression is anger turned inward.
When you allow yourself to feel your anger, resentment, and disappointment, your energy is mobilized and you’ll find that you’re on your way to better health.
Have the courage to feel uncomfortable emotions so that you may release them when it’s time.”